Saturday, September 9, 2006

at least it's not midget porn

Some of you may have noticed that I like to edit my postings AFTER I've posted them. And re-edit them. And re-re-edit them. This stems partially from my control-freak mentality, but mostly from my need to maintain my job. See, I strongly suspect that some of my high school students started reading my blog as of this summer, and I can already imagine their parents seeing my racy rantings ("BDSM airport security procedure?! Egads!") and phoning up the school where I teach film, insisting that I am Tainting The Youth of America and must be fired.

So, while I hate censorship, I hate being homeless even more. Therefore, I satisfy my need to express myself by publishing a first edition of sorts, and then after a few hours have passed and I see the blog hits skyrocket, my panic reaches a certain threshold and I perform my blog vivisection. ::weep::

I was therefore a little pissed, and simultaneously elated, when I went a-huntin' on this here MySpace last night, and discovered that a VERY SENIOR PERSON within my school's administration has—wait for this—MIDGET PORN on his MySpace page. MID. GET. PORN. I'm pissed, because I've performed all my MySpace vivisections for NOTHING, and I'm also elated because this now means I can't get fired.

Very Senior Person: Uh, Astrid, we got some irate phone calls today from some of our students' parents. They feel you're a bad influence—
Me: MIDGET PORN, YOU BASTARD!! MIDGET PORN!!!!!!!! AAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Very Senior Person: I'll just refund their checks.

Even right now, I'm feeling very divided about this. Should I stop expressing myself freely, thus ensuring my future employment? Or should I trust the power of midget porn to keep me on the payroll no matter what?

O, the agony of ambivalence.

3 comments:

  1. [ Original comment from :matto imported from MySpace ]

    Silly girl, just set your blogs to private...and then you can talk about your orgiastic weekends of caffeine induced nirvana amidst sanctimonious drill teams amidst the pantheon of dreams. PS: Dylan is dreaming that he is running after sheep. How cute!

    Posted by :matto on September 9, 2006 - Saturday at 1:46 AM

    ReplyDelete
  2. [ Original comment from Astrid imported from MySpace ]

    I REFUSE to set this to private! The main reason I do this is so that random, intriguing people can stumble upon MY random intriguingness. Harrumph, I say, Mr. Originally-a-Random-MySpacer-Who-Found-My-
    Page-By-Happenstance-and-Then-Became-My-
    Pal-With-Whom-I-Need-to-Hang-Out-More Often!

    Posted by Astrid on September 9, 2006 - Saturday at 1:51 AM

    ReplyDelete
  3. [ Original comment from Astrid imported from MySpace ]

    P.S. What are you still doing up, and why are you spending your Friday night on MySpace? For goodness' sake, go to bed, and help Dylan chase his sheep in dreamland! Since I am a fellow loser spending her Friday night on MySpace, too, I'll try to meet you guys in about an hour -- hell, I'll even bring the lasso and moon shoes for all.

    Posted by Astrid on September 9, 2006 - Saturday at 2:00 AM

    ReplyDelete