Sunday, February 17, 2008

spring cleaning, wherein I sweep out the cobwebs of my soul

Howdydoo, fair readers. Since my last entry:

I was in San Francisco, and now I'm not. Saw the parents, triumphed over a snarky maitre'd, found a terrific book of poems anthologized by Garrison Keillor, ate ridiculously good food, observed splendid views and what-have-you.

Went to the SOC awards last night and had a blast. Met Michael Keaton there, which didn't go exactly as planned.

I've ignored some people, obsessed about others, collected business cards, learned disturbing things about medieval peasants, lost my Union Jack go-go dress, found my Union Jack go-go dress, learned that cold water is better than warm water for underwater photography, wore a shiny red cheongsam when all others wore black (at the SOC awards, not a funeral), cheered for the Giants in a rowdy bar, and learned that not everyone finds lobotomies as funny as I do.

I have decided:

I am exhausted from expending energy by caring about people who are too self-absorbed to give a crap about me right back.

I will no longer reply to e-mails unless they ask me a question, or require me to say "Thank you" or "You're welcome."

I will no longer maintain people as friends unless they ask me how I'm doing and then actually pay attention to my answer, subsequently indicating curiosity about me at regular intervals throughout the conversation/email exchange. Flattery, and/or being devilishly cute, are no longer enough for me to keep folks in my life.


I will make a concerted effort to follow up with people more regularly.

I will get in touch with more people from my past, even my nemeses. I had an archnemesis for several years until fairly recently, which I don't think he ever even suspected, and I've since made my peace with him. I don't think he suspects that, either. He's mostly harmless, as it turns out. Which is a shame -- he made for a very glamorous archnemesis, actually.

* * *

I just read over everything above, and it sounds like I must have had an epiphany recently; the interesting thing is, nothing cataclysmic has happened. Here's the best way I can put it: the seeds of all these thoughts, which I've planted in my brain over the past few years, all decided to quietly bloom this week, mostly thanks to Jessica Sitomer, who wears turquoise with panache, verbalizes everything I've been dully sensing about myself for years, and would make an excellent cult leader. Thanks to her, I now have a field of brilliantly-colored thoughts, which look suspiciously like poppies, all waving in a gentle breeze across endless rolling hills, with clear blue skies as far as the eye can see. It all looks like an ad for allergy medication, which I've decided is not an entirely bad thing.

My biggest task, for the rest of my life, is to do my damndest to maintain this clarity and put it to good use.

* * *

Okay, time for fun! Below are all the groovy items I've been collecting on the interwebs for the past few weeks. Pace yourself, and don't feel bad if it takes you a week or so to make your way through all of the things below. I'll wait.

In no particular order:

Little Things That Jiggle

Ooh, I always loves me some hep science -- this funky science mash-up goes about a minute too long, but it's still a rollicking good time.

I'd never realized before just how widely applicable some simple army camo can be. Just fabulous, and always suitable for eluding Grandma.

The best "how not to handle a baby" instruction card. Ever.

Battle at the Bus Stop (Violent Acres)
Outrageously poetic story about childhood bullying and miscommunication. I actually have half a mind to recreate this story as a graphic novel; er, graphic short story?

High School Girl meat products?
Japanese misogyny hits a new low. Worst part: you just KNOW this stuff'll sell like hotcakes. Hotcakes for lady-hatin' cannibals, is what I'm thinking....

Dresses! Made of balloons! I was about to say I can now die a happy woman, until something suddenly occurred to me: how would you sit down without ruining your outfit and making a ruckus? Back to the ol' drawing board, I guess.

I love the contrast of the muddy skin with the pristine purple silk. The visual rhythm of their bodies with the flow of the fabric = sublime.

Michael Nesmith is undoubtedly a genius
Watch all four clips ("Time travel smells like broccoli"), laugh yourself silly, purchase this DVD, inflict it upon all your friends and family, and be happy. That's an order.

an ode to the font Archer, by I Love Typography

ILT puts this better than I do, but Archer is a truly terrific font. What really catches my breath with its beauty, though, is this picture using the font -- I love, love, LOVE astronomy illustrations created anytime before 1970, or even astronomy illustrations which simply look like they're pre-1970. This is a bit of a fetish on my part, and I implore you to use this knowledge for good rather than evil.

Chewing Gum Art
-- folk art at its tastiest. What I want to know is, where's the giant stick of gum, comprising actual sticks of gum? Infinite regression is always awesome.

Deceptively simple. Love it.

And now for your moment of "Aw...."

Fun with Google Maps -- great idea, and nicely disturbing.

Gender-neutral Ronald McDonald? MY EYES. DEAR GOD MY EYES. WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? O, those zany Japanese.

PlaceboKatz, Understanding art for geeks
-- wish I'd thought of this. Oodles of fun.

From Damn Interesting >> The Unburdened Mind:
Some psychologists go so far as to label the psychopath “a different kind of human” altogether. Psychopathy has an environmental component like nearly all aspects of personal psychology, but its source is rooted firmly in biology. This has caused some researchers to suspect that the condition isn’t a “disorder” at all, but an adaptive trait. In a civilization made up primarily of law-abiding citizenry, the theory goes, an evolutionary niche opens up for a minority who would exploit the trusting masses.

Very intriguing essay overall, two thumbs up from me.

The Nonist: Gaikotsu's Postcards

I'd never heard of Gaikotsu before reading this -- such an inventive artist.

The Nonist: The Secret History of the Revolving Door

The revolving door was created out of revenge? Nice.

The Sneeze: Breakfast Sausage
Terrific commentary on how practically all cereal icons are male. What's up with that, anyway? Weirdness.

Interesting idea.
There's even a Facebook group, in case you're interested.

Best monowheel I've seen thus far.

I love this bench. So simple, yet so brilliant. The DP in me is going "W00T!" right now.

Hark! A Vagrant: Rocky Mountain High
These gals really know how to take a road trip -- this is a truly terrific journal entry. Also: anybody who uses phrases like "Tundra is where it is at" needs to be my new best friend.

From Sesame Street -- brings back all sorts of fond memories.

Guy Skis Down Tube Escalator -- pretty much says it all. DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF. Thank you.

Easily the sexiest photo I've seen in a while. Cute boy? Check. Excellent lipstick application? Check. Books, and/or writing? Check. Incongruous electric meter placement? Check. Insouciant attitude? Check. I swear, the pulchritude oozing off this picture practically knocks me off my chair.

Neatorama: If regular pies just aren't challenging enough...."
Oh my. Icosahedrons are great, and when they're made out of pecan pie...I seem to be getting the vapors. Excuse me while I go lie down for a bit.

Outrageous IKEA ads! Far more fun than I was expecting.

And finally:

Carousel music, just because.


  1. I've read this post several times...
    A sensible woman in a hard town... an interesting lady.
    In my case Ive found that is better to leave people behind if they don't make you a better human being, youve close a loop, keep going.
    And keep blooming.
    - - -
    About the media and links:
    Ja Ja : PlaceboKatz, Ikea
    Arghhh : gum art
    WoW : sexy photo, bench, skin+silk, monowheel, road trip
    ¡! : Violent Acres site, psycho theory
    Disturbing: Gaikotsu
    note: the videos are now offline
    Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thank you! But you don't like the gum art? And which videos are offline? I checked each one, and they still play on my computer.

  3. First, An apology, the videos are OK I should have checked my PC as All the videos had trouble, that was not normal.
    And they are great, the google maps have great excecution specially near the red lights.
    The well get to the gum isuue:
    - The dresses..., uhhmmm.
    yes I like them
    and they seem to enyoy them
    so they are certanly not unconfortable
    - The faces. Those open wide eyes
    and open mouth.
    These are scary you could almost imagine
    some terror movie they are watching.
    or news cast, or bad comment :)