My Own Private Neuromancer VII

View part VI here.

Some serious unseriousness

I was reading an article which used the term "shaggy dog story," despite the fact that the rest of the article had nothing to do with dogs. What, I wondered, is a shaggy dog story? Wikipedia came to the rescue, explaining that it's a form of humor I've loved for years: a winding tale with tons of irrelevant detail and random tangents, culminating in an anti-climax that is hilarious precisely because it is so non-hilarious and completely unrelated to the rest of the story.

Eager for more, I decided to head to the "See also" section, where I clicked on "No soap radio." Again, I was floored to learn that there is a term for something I've experienced for years: a joke with a non-hilarious punchline (typically the words 'no soap, radio?,' but not always), told between a couple of people who are in cahoots with each other to laugh no matter what. The point is to tell the joke in front of a third person, and see how they react: do they try to conform and laugh along with the first two, thus looking like a birdbrain? Or will they be understandably confused, opening themselves to ridicule from the two jokesters? Needless to say, this is intimately related to "anti-humor."

As I read about this, I had a flashback to eighth-grade English class. Our weekly assignment was to learn twenty new assigned vocabulary words, and then create analogies for the class where the vocabulary words would be the answers. Pretty straightforward stuff, until one time a couple of guys decided to have some Dada-esque fun. One of them announced the following analogy to the class:

"Stoplight is to Marilyn Monroe, as carpeting is to...?"

The class sat stupefied for a moment, until the second guy gleefully announced "Varnish!" which, as you may have guessed, was one of our vocabulary words for the week. They clearly had rehearsed this, and were having a fabulous time.

We being a bunch of bored eighth graders, the whole class burst out with some mild laughter. We were all set to shrug off the nonsense and move on, until our teacher said shrilly, "I don't get it. I just don't get it!" So we laughed some more.

But our teacher started having an honest-to-goodness meltdown. "I'm serious! I don't get it! SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME AT ONCE." She may or may not have stomped her foot in consternation.

We were all howling by now.

The classroom madness lasted for several minutes, with our teacher getting more and more shrill, and the rest of us laughing harder and harder to the point of challenging our bladder control. The two guys, meanwhile, were both grinning like Cheshire cats and waiting to see what would happen next.

Anti-climactically, a gal (NOT I) quietly explained to our teacher that the two guys were being humorous dopes, and there was nothing to get about the joke -- it was hilarious precisely because it was non-hilarious.

"Well, I think you're all crazy," our teacher declared. Needless to say, she was never one of my favorites anyway, and this occasion pretty well confirmed my opinion.

P.S. Look up "Snowclone." Like the word "philtrum," I'd never realized a term existed for such a thing until fairly recently. I feel so much smarter now.

Evolution of the Hipster

Ah, satire, I love you so.

Snookimania!

I'd always just assumed that Snooki is simply famous for being famous. Or notorious for being notorious, take your pick. Either way, I'd assumed she had zero skills to warrant such fame/notoriety, outside of whining and getting punched.

But soft! What light on yonder window breaks?



Wowsers. Turns out she's a DAMN FINE BACKFLIPPING WRESTLER, and I truly wish her the best of luck in her new calling. Hats off, Snooki, you officially rock.

World Order: "Machine Civilization"

LOVE this choreography! I could watch these guys all day, they're so magnificently precise.

Bonus: excellent choice of locations. I'm such a sucker for industrial chic, especially when combined with suited guys dancing with a dry wit.

Bonus bonus: check out all the bewildered people going by who suddenly realize they're walking into a video. O, the joys of low-budget filmmaking....

sweet dreams are not made of this

Watch this if you want nightmares about monstrous mushrooms out to devour you (and worse!):




But if you'd prefer nightmares about wacky driving, try this instead:

Beyonce as performed by Pomplamoose

I can't stop listening to these people! They are too hep for words.

Stop - It's Hammertime! (only with bindis and dupattas)

    When I'm not doing micromarketing or calculating inventory, I prance about like a Bollywood star in MBA talent shows. This seems to astound and impress the Indian students, who think that no American would ever be caught dead shaking her groove thing in front of 110 people to "Desi Girl" or "Mauja Hi Mauja". In your face, dubious Indian students! You're not the only cool, dancing-type people to hang out in business schools! So there.



P.S. The Rockettes we ain't, but we still brought the house down. This was quite possibly one of the most awesome experiences I've ever had, at least since that one time I was duct-taped to a wall.

brilliant...?

Kinda Bizarre Audience-Building Strategy: Come to My Apartment

Would I want 60 strangers in my apartment every week? Probably not -- but it would be a fantastic way to piggyback PR for a personal project. Will mull this over.

G is for Gastroenteritis

This just absolutely slays me. I may perish from cute overload.

Sesame Street: Anderson Cooper Reports

Join me at Mindshare, May 21!

So, here's the latest email I've received from the madcap folks behind Mindshare:

We're excited to announce the program for next Thursday at 1018 Gallery!
http://www.mindshare.la/events.html

William Pomerantz / Senior Director of Space Projects, The X PRIZE Foundation
Winning Our Way to the Moon

Heather Knight / Roboticist, MIT Media Lab
Social Robotics - Exploring the Human-Robot Relationships

David de Rothschild / Founder, Adventure Ecology
The Plastiki - Rethinking Plastic as a Resource!

Daniel Yoder / Hacker, Zeraweb Labs
Flash Fundraising for The Abruzzo Earthquake

Unnamed Military Source / US Air Force
Apocalypse Survival (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Breakdown of Society)

Evonne Heyning & Matt Davis / Lightning Temple Artists
INTERACTIVATION: Collaborative Visions of Human Evolution

And of course there will be and open bar, hors d'ouevres, music and a number of installations on display from the great brains from Mindshare Labs!

I'll be there at 7 to help set up, who else is coming?

kama sutra + water + judges = tandem surfing?

I had a coworker last year who persistently tried to recruit me as his tandem surfing partner. This is what tandem surfing looks like:



The guy recruiting me is about 6' or so, and I'm...well, I'm pocket-sized. Big surprise then that, in this guy's eyes, we were Destined For Tandem Success. He then showed me a chart of tandem poses, which made me giggle maniacally, since it reminded me of Cosmopolitan's illustrations of sex positions -- both of which feature very flexible silhouettes. I'm not going to link or post anything here, but you could easily Google "Cosmo" and "sex positions" and witness exactly what I mean.

Ultimately, I had to say no to this guy because

a) I have terrible balance and flexibility,
b) this looks like a great excuse for a guy to grope his partner,
c) I'm not an exhibitionist,
d) he was married, but
e) the marriage was failing, and
f) I refuse to spend lots of time with someone who might be using me as an emotional escape route.

If he had been single and less drama-ridden, I might've reconsidered; tandem surfing, when you get past the fact that it's vaguely unseemly, is truly magnificent to behold.

how to get creatively unstuck?

TED Talks / Elizabeth Gilbert: A different way to think about creative genius

Are we geniuses? Or does genius speak through us? Is belief in a muse just an easy way to shed accountability, or necessary for not suffering a nervous breakdown? I'm not sure about any of these things, but I do know that Gilbert is a terrific speaker, and I highly recommend watching this 18-minute talk. I especially recommend it if you're feeling creatively stuck.

Mindshare LA: 16 April 2009

It was in a warehouse, downtown, after dark.

I got there early and helped set up chairs.

Hundreds of chairs -- dusty but light.

Open bar. Two giant snakes inside the bar's counter. I asked for a club soda "with a wedge of something." I got a cup full of various citrus wedges and fizz. Joy! On a side table: chocolate torte from Porto's. Also joy!

I had a new phone message from a job rep. She offered me a job as a brand licensing manager for NBC Universal. The following morning, I will politely decline.

Met people. Many, many people. Programmers, astrophysicists, pre-med people. Media people. JPL people. CalTech people. People whose jobs I couldn't quite figure out, but they seemed to be having gobs of fun anyway. They all liked my earrings. I'd already forgotten which ones I was wearing. I touched them; mother-of-pearl toucans, each of which took up half of each ear. Go toucans!

Time to sit down. I sat with my new CalTech posse.

First speaker discussed group dynamics. Should have been a half-hour longer, at least.

Second speaker discussed drag queens and the fluidity of personality. I wonder how this could be extended to other, non-drag groups?

Third speaker discussed the AlloSphere. I desperately need to test drive this thing.

Intermission. More fizz with wedges of things. Hello, snakes! But they were sleeping. They looked comfy.

Fourth speaker discussed DNA art. So cheap to make, so expensive to buy! I wish I had his brilliance.

Fifth speaker did terrific magic, with very bitter patter. I guess bitterness was his thing. It was on the knife edge between hilarious and depressing.

More talking. CalTech people surprised that I did not, in fact, attend CalTech. Business cards, bonding, drag queens, AlloSphere. Discussion of potential field trip to the AlloSphere. Discussion of the term "field trip." I asserted that field trips do not necessarily require chaperones. Everyone looked relieved.

12:30pm. Back to the car. No ticket, whoo! Chilly out, but I was A-OK. I was wearing my sassy red coat which makes fascinating people say "hello" to me.

I slept well.

dancing about architecture

Thanks to Parlophone, and to Jamie for pointing me in the right direction. Bonus: I now understand the term "jackanory."

innovation and Estelle Getty

Harvard Business Review: Breakthrough Ideas for 2009 (thanks to Hugh McGrory for sending this to me) - A lot of good stuff here. I'm especially looking forward to the printable solar cells, plus I always enjoy learning new ways to manipulate-- er, interact with my peers.

On a completely unrelated note, because that's how I like my notes: I was watching "Golden Girls" earlier today (shuddup, I was waiting for a beast of an NIH grant proposal to load), and when Bea Arthur asked Estelle Getty about being paid in cash, Getty said "No! In pistachio nuts!" Needless to say, this totally made my afternoon. Ms. Getty, you made sassiness look easy and will forever remain an icon for me; RIP.

if you wanna ride, don't ride the white horse

This photo is by the fantastic Alexander Shinkarenko.

Man, if I could get this poster-sized, I so would. This is AWESOME. I mean, the gal is totally in control and having a blast. The horse doesn't look so happy, but hey, it gets to frolic in the ocean, which I'm assuming is ultimately okay for horses, as long as they haven't eaten for an hour and have taken a refresher course in CPR.

Another thing I find interesting: the gal in the photo isn't wearing much, yet I don't find the image exploitative. Maybe it's because she clearly isn't doing this to look all ooh-la-la, Bringing Sexy Back and what-have-you. No ma'am, she's showing the horse who's boss, and simply wearing the most sensible outfit for the purpose.

I love the power, the dynamism of this moment. And she looks like she totally belongs on that horse, despite whatever its own opinions may be upon the matter.

Can I be this gal when I grow up?

accordions, candy, and Atari -- oh my!

Simply because:

killing me loudly with his song

I'm about to crawl into bed, happy and full of fine bacon vodka spaghetti -- but before I do, I have to post this.



I first heard this song this morning, on my way to work. Two minutes in, I was already singing along with it, belting out the chorus with all my soul as I hurtled down the 110 freeway. I had no idea the song was by Death Cab for Cutie [trust me, it's a fine figure of a website, nice 'n' retro] until I Googled "i will possess your heart" a few minutes ago this evening. The video is a wisp of a thing, plotwise, but it sure captures a lot emotionally. Not sure how, since watching a beautiful woman walking around the world doing nothing isn't normally my idea of compelling entertainment.

Anyway, they will possess my heart, those dastardly devils of deliciousness known as Death Cab. I feel like such a sell-out trendster now, but it's a good kind of pain.

i heart digital art

This video is so beautiful it almost takes my breath away. I love the kaleidoscopic quality of the editing, the angular self-possession of the dancer Masako Yasumoto, the elegant black-and-white design, the simplicity of the diffuse overhead lighting, even the almost-cheesy-but-not-quite VFX of the 'water' streaming out from Yasumoto's gestures towards the end of the piece. Man, I love it all. ::sighs happily::

Bear in mind that the music, such as it is, happens to be one of those chiptune disco tracks which might annoy the hell out of you at the very least, and render you temporarily deaf with its prolonged high tones at the very most, but I think it adds a certain Gibsonesque (WiGi?) charm.

Regardless, I love this digital objet, score and all. I luuuuv it. I lurrrrrve it. I may have to get a hotel room with it. Enjoy!