Okay, now that I've cleaned out my months-collected links, I've now decided to do (kinda) weekly links. Here they are, in all their maddening and splendid glory:
No. 1 Link of the Week:
Hipster Olympics
tied with the other No. 1 link of the week:
Table 70, which is my pal Matt's bimonthly music 'podiocast'. I'm currently listening to the entry "1993 Was a Good Year," and indeed, by the sound of things, it really was. Hooray for TLC, is what I'm sayin'.
Unreal Pencil Carvings
Richard Sweeney has stupidcrazy art talents. He seems to be the M. C. Escher of our generation.
Cardboard Cop Slows Speedsters -- sneaky, but a great idea.
Angel Ceballos is so inspiring to me, it hurts. The following are some of my favorite works of hers, from her Flickr photoset:
Magdalene Veen
another Magdalene Veen
Samantha Klapp
Karen and Nate
Magdalene Veen once more
This is hilarious, and I'm also slightly embarrassed to admit this makes my mouth water:
Minnesota State Fair on a Stick
Such a nifty thing:
Book of Ingenious Devices, published 850 CE
The Automata of Rhodes
According to Pindar, one of the nine lyric poets of ancient Greece, the isle of Rhodes was known for its displays of mechanical engineering, particularly automata, which apparently were a specialty of the Rhodians. Pindar said this in his seventh Olympic Ode:
"The animated figures stand
Adorning every public street
And seem to breathe in stone, or
move their marble feet."
Trippy, huh?
Because I lovelovelove the site Do What Now?:
We are zee Five Kabobeteers, no?
and
Leave the grilling to the high-waisted men, Timmy
Via Indexed:
I hated gym.
Senju Kannon
From the site: "A once-in-a-year event in Japan. 24 hours of TV, a lot of artists, a lot of events, and the funds are all for charity and the disabled. This is the show of the 'Senju Kannon': The 1000-hands goddess of Mercy."
Newsweek: China Regulates Buddhist Reincarnation: um, what?
Great Shadow Puppetry via Metacafe
"Garbage Masters" Amazing Trick Shots -- very definitely amazing.
Garbage - Androgyny: such a fun video! I'm a big fan of the concept of androgyny myself -- I was sporting neckties WELL before Avril whatserface was doing her thing, that lousy poseur. Grr.
Mouse In My Pants! via LP Cover Lover
This is just so wrong for just so many reasons.
Disgustingly Rich! via LP Cover Lover
Gotta love the mink-lined bathtub.
And just when you thought the mink madness couldn't possibly get any worse:
de l'amour et de l'argent via LP Cover Lover
O dear god no, Uggs and Crocs have mated and spawned a hybrid! NOOOOOOOOO....
Cruggs? via Boing Boing
Tunnel via the random collections
tumbleweed -- wait a sec, tumbleweed ISN'T native to the U.S.? Huh.
Because I am a bit of a typography dork:
i love typography
And finally, because xkcd (Randall Munroe) is a mad genius:
Interesting Life
Whew. Back to unpacking.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
where I don’t quote The Police. At all.
Man Meets Wife Via Message in a Bottle
I love random things like the above; seriously, what are the odds of meeting somebody really nifty via a message in a bottle? Or, for that matter, via a Post-It Note left on a sidewalk? Or, if you want to be superrandom, how about a wrong phone number, where you never intended to meet anybody new at all? I had a dream two nights ago where I misdialed a number, and a guy at the other end answered, "Hello, how may I help you on this maddening and splendid evening?" I don't remember much else beyond that, sadly, but it reinforced my sense of fun about chance meetings. Also, I will now answer the phone that way after dark, no matter who calls. You can test me on this.
Also also, I remember that I got a phone call during my freshman year at Michigan from a random guy, who said he lived in Ann Arbor and was just dialing around because he was bored and looking for fun people to talk to. I was in a rush at the time, so I didn't stop to chat, but afterward he apparently worked his way through my entire dorm (South Quad, for you nosybodies), ultimately talking for an hour or so with my friend Marla, who lived a floor below me. And whom I just saw last night for the first time in six years. Which is what got me started thinking about random connectivity in the first place.
This reminds me, I've always had a bit of an obsession with dreaming about a conversation with a friend, and then continuing that conversation with the same friend after waking up and seeing them in reality. The key here is that the friend has to have had the identical dream, so I know We Shared Something. I even did a little photo class project about this in my final year at Michigan, which turned out splendidly, thank you very much.
Back to random connectivity: you gotta love a mistyped e-mail address. About a month before New Orleans was hit by Katrina, I received an e-mail from the Chemistry department at Tulane University. The woman who wrote the e-mail told me that my paycheck was ready to be picked up or mailed, whichever I preferred, and it was clearly not a spam hoax. After noodling around on Google for a bit, I realized that there is a Dr. Astrid Phillips in the field of chemistry, and clearly she must have done a little academic song and dance over at Tulane. Ethical person that I am, it never occurred to me to say, "Sure, send me the moolah pronto!" Instead, I informed the lady of her error , and she apologized, saying she had left off a single letter from the e-mail address, and she thanked me for my patience.
Which reminds me, I may start an Astrid Phillips club. You can only be a member if your name is Astrid Phillips, and I already know (thanks to Google) that there will definitely be more than just a couple of members, difficult as that may be to believe. We will get together every once in a while, drinking tea and discussing highbrow matters. Maybe we'll even get manicures, and then go rob a bank. That would be awesome.
And hey, let's not overlook random Googling, as in the phenomenal case of Rory Blyth. Call me a romantic, or call me a person in need of serious therapy, but this really warms the cockles of my heart. And I'm sure we all know that a cockle is an edible, burrowing bivalve mollusk with a strong ribbed shell (thank you, Oxford American Dictionary OSX widget), so you know I'm serious.
Getting back to Marla, because it always comes back to Marla: I finally got to see her (and her charming man) last night, and I find it fascinating how comfortable it all was. I mean, I hadn't seen her in about six years, and when we grabbed dinner last night, it was like the intervening years had never happened. Amazing what a comfy friendship fit can do. We had met during freshman orientation, where we shared an instant bond because we both loved "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," and there you are. She just took the bar exam a couple of weeks ago, and now she's at Disneyland.
I haven't done anything random today yet, but let's see what I can cook up.
I love random things like the above; seriously, what are the odds of meeting somebody really nifty via a message in a bottle? Or, for that matter, via a Post-It Note left on a sidewalk? Or, if you want to be superrandom, how about a wrong phone number, where you never intended to meet anybody new at all? I had a dream two nights ago where I misdialed a number, and a guy at the other end answered, "Hello, how may I help you on this maddening and splendid evening?" I don't remember much else beyond that, sadly, but it reinforced my sense of fun about chance meetings. Also, I will now answer the phone that way after dark, no matter who calls. You can test me on this.
Also also, I remember that I got a phone call during my freshman year at Michigan from a random guy, who said he lived in Ann Arbor and was just dialing around because he was bored and looking for fun people to talk to. I was in a rush at the time, so I didn't stop to chat, but afterward he apparently worked his way through my entire dorm (South Quad, for you nosybodies), ultimately talking for an hour or so with my friend Marla, who lived a floor below me. And whom I just saw last night for the first time in six years. Which is what got me started thinking about random connectivity in the first place.
This reminds me, I've always had a bit of an obsession with dreaming about a conversation with a friend, and then continuing that conversation with the same friend after waking up and seeing them in reality. The key here is that the friend has to have had the identical dream, so I know We Shared Something. I even did a little photo class project about this in my final year at Michigan, which turned out splendidly, thank you very much.
Back to random connectivity: you gotta love a mistyped e-mail address. About a month before New Orleans was hit by Katrina, I received an e-mail from the Chemistry department at Tulane University. The woman who wrote the e-mail told me that my paycheck was ready to be picked up or mailed, whichever I preferred, and it was clearly not a spam hoax. After noodling around on Google for a bit, I realized that there is a Dr. Astrid Phillips in the field of chemistry, and clearly she must have done a little academic song and dance over at Tulane. Ethical person that I am, it never occurred to me to say, "Sure, send me the moolah pronto!" Instead, I informed the lady of her error , and she apologized, saying she had left off a single letter from the e-mail address, and she thanked me for my patience.
Which reminds me, I may start an Astrid Phillips club. You can only be a member if your name is Astrid Phillips, and I already know (thanks to Google) that there will definitely be more than just a couple of members, difficult as that may be to believe. We will get together every once in a while, drinking tea and discussing highbrow matters. Maybe we'll even get manicures, and then go rob a bank. That would be awesome.
And hey, let's not overlook random Googling, as in the phenomenal case of Rory Blyth. Call me a romantic, or call me a person in need of serious therapy, but this really warms the cockles of my heart. And I'm sure we all know that a cockle is an edible, burrowing bivalve mollusk with a strong ribbed shell (thank you, Oxford American Dictionary OSX widget), so you know I'm serious.
Getting back to Marla, because it always comes back to Marla: I finally got to see her (and her charming man) last night, and I find it fascinating how comfortable it all was. I mean, I hadn't seen her in about six years, and when we grabbed dinner last night, it was like the intervening years had never happened. Amazing what a comfy friendship fit can do. We had met during freshman orientation, where we shared an instant bond because we both loved "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," and there you are. She just took the bar exam a couple of weeks ago, and now she's at Disneyland.
I haven't done anything random today yet, but let's see what I can cook up.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
on having a life
I've amassed yet another Lump o' Media Goodness over the past few months or so, which I've laid out below for your clicking enjoyment. I really need to get out more. Oh, wait, I saw "Becoming Jane" today, which made me all sorts of weepy and peevish, and then I went to Ross and bought random-yet-necessary housewares. Yes, folks, I AM Ms. Friday Night Madness.
This weekend will be nuts, though, because I'll be seeing a play directed by a friend, and then hanging out with my friend Marla WHOM I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS, since she'll be vacationing in LA with her fabulous man for a few days. Also, "Fool Me Once" will be screening at Cinespace in Hollywood on Sunday evening, sometime between 6pm and 8pm; if you haven't seen my cinematography on a big(ger) screen yet, come on by.
So, yeah, I still have a life. I'm just sayin'.
10 Jobs You Can Do If You're A Blogger -- because I heart yongfook.
Think of England (1999) -- defining Englishness, whatever that means.
Catherine Tate: Lauren - Periodic Table...best snarky student ever.
Alanis Morissette "My Humps" video -- sad and eerie, and very well done.
Mute Math - "Typical" -- plays well with reverse filming.
Le Mont Solaire -- hooray for giant sun dials as art!
Lego camera!
Game developers: get a clue -- I agree with this 100%.
Root beer float cookies!
Save snowflakes forever!
Furniture from Weapons -- godawful but still mesmerizing.
Hugh MacLeod's How to Be Creative -- because this guy rocks.
Cool Hunter: Inspiration Nation -- a terrific almost-manifesto
If Crack Dealers Took Lessons From Walgreens, They Really Would Be Rich -- this blew my mind
RED CROSS mobile billboard -- brilliance
Medieval Cookery -- "A Dishe of Artechokes" looks really good!
Moon-bison and other 19th C. pranks
The best hoax pharma site ever!
SkyMaul -- sheer fabulosity.
BBC: The Lyrebird -- it starts off slowly, but just keep watching. It's a bird that can mimic, among other things, cameras, car alarms, and chain saws. Only imagine.
CYRK: Unicyclist with Derby (by Hubert Hilscher) -- beautiful. I love wacky vintage crap.
Oh no, it's The Beatniks! A mutinous generation! Wrought with suppressed emotions!
Exploding Head Syndrome -- boy, I sure hate when that happens.
B inside TV animated cartoon "S.P.I.C." -- I LOVE watching people draw in fast motion, especially when they're actually okay at it. It reminds me of Sesame Street, when a hand would enter frame and draw an elaborate scene, which would then magically come to life. If you can find me a YouTube of that, I'll give you a cookie.
"Olde English: Sad, Drunk 15 Year-Old" "Is that how you feel?" "If push-ups were cuddles and sharks were you...." You'll have to sit through some military propaganda before watching this, but it'll be worth it.
Cold War Kids: "Hang Me Up to Dry" -- Shot like European 60's neorealism! Startlingly stylish.
The ecstasy of influence: A plagiarism by Jonathan Lethem -- about the fragmentary cultural consciousness we see in all media. Definitely an eye-opener.
Thrill to the gloriously mad art of Jesse Lefkowitz!
Humanity Lobotomy -- a brief history of the Internet, and how the Web as we know it may die rather soon, in a very bloody battle indeed over net neutrality.
True Blue -- brilliantly hilarious.
Cheapest Eyeglasses in the World -- I'm never getting mine in the US again.
Tokyo Summerland wave pool makes me ill on behalf of humanity.
College Will Kill Your Entrepreneurial Spirit While Simultaneously Turning You Into a Worker Bee -- pretty much says it all.
The Dollar Dreadful Family Library -- for fans of eccentric Victoriana.
Damn Interesting: Raiders of the Lost Lake -- all about Lake Vostok, which is a nifty discovery.
meish dot org: Facebook and the Perils of Prodigious Sociability Welcome to my life.
WikiMedia: Infinite Descent (I just learned what a Shepard Tone is, I feel so smart now.)
Fifteen Unfortunately-Placed Ads -- I always love these.
Jessica the Hippo -- the adorablest thing ever!
The Bond of St. Marcel -- a graphic novel to be released in 2008, written by fellow USC alumna Jenn Quintenz!
Retro Thing: Make Better Home Movies -- Super 8 Tutorial Film -- it's very slowly-paced, but everything they say is truly a nugget of wisdom for every filmmaker. I especially like the line "[e]arly morning- and late evening-light can be enchanting." Truer words were never spoken.
Thomas Edison Hates Cats -- I had no idea Edison helped cook up (ick, sorry) the electric chair. This may or may not be true, but it's a heckuva rumor to perpetuate, so now I'm helping.
To quote myself: You may now returned to your regularly scheduled life.
This weekend will be nuts, though, because I'll be seeing a play directed by a friend, and then hanging out with my friend Marla WHOM I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS, since she'll be vacationing in LA with her fabulous man for a few days. Also, "Fool Me Once" will be screening at Cinespace in Hollywood on Sunday evening, sometime between 6pm and 8pm; if you haven't seen my cinematography on a big(ger) screen yet, come on by.
So, yeah, I still have a life. I'm just sayin'.
10 Jobs You Can Do If You're A Blogger -- because I heart yongfook.
Think of England (1999) -- defining Englishness, whatever that means.
Catherine Tate: Lauren - Periodic Table...best snarky student ever.
Alanis Morissette "My Humps" video -- sad and eerie, and very well done.
Mute Math - "Typical" -- plays well with reverse filming.
Le Mont Solaire -- hooray for giant sun dials as art!
Lego camera!
Game developers: get a clue -- I agree with this 100%.
Root beer float cookies!
Save snowflakes forever!
Furniture from Weapons -- godawful but still mesmerizing.
Hugh MacLeod's How to Be Creative -- because this guy rocks.
Cool Hunter: Inspiration Nation -- a terrific almost-manifesto
If Crack Dealers Took Lessons From Walgreens, They Really Would Be Rich -- this blew my mind
RED CROSS mobile billboard -- brilliance
Medieval Cookery -- "A Dishe of Artechokes" looks really good!
Moon-bison and other 19th C. pranks
The best hoax pharma site ever!
SkyMaul -- sheer fabulosity.
BBC: The Lyrebird -- it starts off slowly, but just keep watching. It's a bird that can mimic, among other things, cameras, car alarms, and chain saws. Only imagine.
CYRK: Unicyclist with Derby (by Hubert Hilscher) -- beautiful. I love wacky vintage crap.
Oh no, it's The Beatniks! A mutinous generation! Wrought with suppressed emotions!
Exploding Head Syndrome -- boy, I sure hate when that happens.
B inside TV animated cartoon "S.P.I.C." -- I LOVE watching people draw in fast motion, especially when they're actually okay at it. It reminds me of Sesame Street, when a hand would enter frame and draw an elaborate scene, which would then magically come to life. If you can find me a YouTube of that, I'll give you a cookie.
"Olde English: Sad, Drunk 15 Year-Old" "Is that how you feel?" "If push-ups were cuddles and sharks were you...." You'll have to sit through some military propaganda before watching this, but it'll be worth it.
Cold War Kids: "Hang Me Up to Dry" -- Shot like European 60's neorealism! Startlingly stylish.
The ecstasy of influence: A plagiarism by Jonathan Lethem -- about the fragmentary cultural consciousness we see in all media. Definitely an eye-opener.
Thrill to the gloriously mad art of Jesse Lefkowitz!
Humanity Lobotomy -- a brief history of the Internet, and how the Web as we know it may die rather soon, in a very bloody battle indeed over net neutrality.
True Blue -- brilliantly hilarious.
Cheapest Eyeglasses in the World -- I'm never getting mine in the US again.
Tokyo Summerland wave pool makes me ill on behalf of humanity.
College Will Kill Your Entrepreneurial Spirit While Simultaneously Turning You Into a Worker Bee -- pretty much says it all.
The Dollar Dreadful Family Library -- for fans of eccentric Victoriana.
Damn Interesting: Raiders of the Lost Lake -- all about Lake Vostok, which is a nifty discovery.
meish dot org: Facebook and the Perils of Prodigious Sociability Welcome to my life.
WikiMedia: Infinite Descent (I just learned what a Shepard Tone is, I feel so smart now.)
Fifteen Unfortunately-Placed Ads -- I always love these.
Jessica the Hippo -- the adorablest thing ever!
The Bond of St. Marcel -- a graphic novel to be released in 2008, written by fellow USC alumna Jenn Quintenz!
Retro Thing: Make Better Home Movies -- Super 8 Tutorial Film -- it's very slowly-paced, but everything they say is truly a nugget of wisdom for every filmmaker. I especially like the line "[e]arly morning- and late evening-light can be enchanting." Truer words were never spoken.
Thomas Edison Hates Cats -- I had no idea Edison helped cook up (ick, sorry) the electric chair. This may or may not be true, but it's a heckuva rumor to perpetuate, so now I'm helping.
To quote myself: You may now returned to your regularly scheduled life.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Because I read an insane amount online every day
I can't sleep, so instead I would like to share with you the highlights of my Web surfing from the past several months. Enjoy! And good luck with the resulting migraines/psychotherapy.
Art / Design / Performance
Men With Beards
I laughed! I cried! It was better than "Cats"!
Top 13 Most Expensive Cell Phones
Horrible! Disgusting! They represent all that is wrong with capitalism! Can I have one?
Gramaphone Styled CD Player
Silly yet brilliant.
The Kowal Portable Typewriter and Adding Machine
The best customization of a laptop I've ever seen.
http://www.xaco14.net/files/images/phone13.preview.jpg
girl with phone, looking beatified -- I find this oddly compelling, like a 13th-century Madonna Minus Child painting.
my friend Sarah Goff saw beautiful things in Italy
Really. She did.
"Thriller" as performed by inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation center
Alarmingly terrific.
phenomenal artist Stella Im Hultberg
Oh my.
Damn Interesting: Tesla's Tower of Power
Tesla, how I love you so, especially as portrayed by David Bowie, ahem.
Harry Grant Dart: Picturesque America
The retrofuture of Times Square.
Stephane Halleux
So incredibly inventive, my goodness.
Royal de Luxe
The greatest macropuppeteers ever.
Love Letter to Condi
Incredibly tender ode to the lady.
PopCult
S.A.M, the Sesame Street Robot (video)
A terrific recap of freaky children's programming.
Glazastik. The New Internet Hero
This has a late-90s-Internet hokey delight to it.
The Checkered Career of the Wooden Honey Stick
Very diverting.
Food
Watermelon-Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Pops
I mean, why not?
Wacky News
A Man Flies 193 Miles in Lawn Chair
Just because you can doesn't mean you should, but I applaud his gumption and moxie at any rate.
A Gate-Crasher's Change of Heart
The most civilized talking-down of a criminal I've ever heard of.
Philosophy
If You Don't Have the Balls to Be Hated, Then You Don't Deserve to Be Loved
Amen, Violent Acres. Amen.
Sicko inspires grassroots action in Dallas cinema
I love that film can still spur people to action, it gives me hope yet for the future of humanity.
AlterNet: Neocons on a Cruise: What Conservatives Say When They Think We Aren't Listening
Remember what I said about having hope for humanity? Gone.
Kids in Guinea study under airport lamps
Oh, lookee! My hope for humanity just came back!
IBM Guidelines Govern Virtual Employees
And it's gone again. Fcking outrageous.
Health
Picking the Right Hospital Can Save Your Life
Sigh. Definitely need to think about this.
Miscellany
Pirates Knocked Up Shrek
Unintended or not, I still love this.
Strip Polka!
Life simply does not get any better than this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS-tWAUQa4Q" target="new">Web zen: illusion zen
LSD not necessary.
XKCD: Chesscoaster
Thank goodness for XKCD. He is fabulous.
Ze Frank's History o' Underwear
Oh boy.
Art / Design / Performance
Men With Beards
I laughed! I cried! It was better than "Cats"!
Top 13 Most Expensive Cell Phones
Horrible! Disgusting! They represent all that is wrong with capitalism! Can I have one?
Gramaphone Styled CD Player
Silly yet brilliant.
The Kowal Portable Typewriter and Adding Machine
The best customization of a laptop I've ever seen.
http://www.xaco14.net/files/images/phone13.preview.jpg
girl with phone, looking beatified -- I find this oddly compelling, like a 13th-century Madonna Minus Child painting.
my friend Sarah Goff saw beautiful things in Italy
Really. She did.
"Thriller" as performed by inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation center
Alarmingly terrific.
phenomenal artist Stella Im Hultberg
Oh my.
Damn Interesting: Tesla's Tower of Power
Tesla, how I love you so, especially as portrayed by David Bowie, ahem.
Harry Grant Dart: Picturesque America
The retrofuture of Times Square.
Stephane Halleux
So incredibly inventive, my goodness.
Royal de Luxe
The greatest macropuppeteers ever.
Love Letter to Condi
Incredibly tender ode to the lady.
PopCult
S.A.M, the Sesame Street Robot (video)
A terrific recap of freaky children's programming.
Glazastik. The New Internet Hero
This has a late-90s-Internet hokey delight to it.
The Checkered Career of the Wooden Honey Stick
Very diverting.
Food
Watermelon-Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Pops
I mean, why not?
Wacky News
A Man Flies 193 Miles in Lawn Chair
Just because you can doesn't mean you should, but I applaud his gumption and moxie at any rate.
A Gate-Crasher's Change of Heart
The most civilized talking-down of a criminal I've ever heard of.
Philosophy
If You Don't Have the Balls to Be Hated, Then You Don't Deserve to Be Loved
Amen, Violent Acres. Amen.
Sicko inspires grassroots action in Dallas cinema
I love that film can still spur people to action, it gives me hope yet for the future of humanity.
AlterNet: Neocons on a Cruise: What Conservatives Say When They Think We Aren't Listening
Remember what I said about having hope for humanity? Gone.
Kids in Guinea study under airport lamps
Oh, lookee! My hope for humanity just came back!
IBM Guidelines Govern Virtual Employees
And it's gone again. Fcking outrageous.
Health
Picking the Right Hospital Can Save Your Life
Sigh. Definitely need to think about this.
Miscellany
Pirates Knocked Up Shrek
Unintended or not, I still love this.
Strip Polka!
Life simply does not get any better than this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS-tWAUQa4Q" target="new">Web zen: illusion zen
LSD not necessary.
XKCD: Chesscoaster
Thank goodness for XKCD. He is fabulous.
Ze Frank's History o' Underwear
Oh boy.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
[Not Miranda] July!
Thank goodness for Fritz Kahn and the British Library Online, whoo! I love body-as-machine art, especially if there are mini-people scurrying about in the lungs, brains, pancreas, &c.
So, it's July! Good gravy, I can't believe my life is passing me by this quickly; it's time I dust off the ol' existential machete and hack a new path or twenty through what's remaining of my future -- assuming I don't get hit by a bus this week, of course, which would suck. In a recent lighting class I conducted, I went over Lighting Safety and concluded with the phrase "Whatever you do, don't die." Ever since then, the students have repeatedly used the phrase "Don't die!" at amusingly inopportune moments, but I'd like to think they've taken the message to heart and have decided to Just Say No to Drugs and so forth. A teacher can hope, I suppose.
But! I really meant to discuss July. Here goes:
Air-Conditioning Appreciation Days (7/3 to 8/15): living in LA, I appreciate A/C most of the time already
Cell Phone Courtesy Month: but I LIKE discussing my gynecological issues over the phone while standing in crowded elevators! Gee whiz.
Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness Month: if you have a ton of iron in your diet, take this one seriously
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month: but EVERY month is Blondie/Deborah Harry Month! Anyone who says otherwise has a heart of glass.
Learn Arabic Month: your first vocab word is "wasta."
National Black Family Month: which black family is it this year?
National Home Inspector Appreciation Month: er, why?
National Horseradish Month: whoo!
National Purposeful Parenting Month: I'd prefer being a Purposeless Parent, personally.
National Wheelchair Beautification Month: but you'll have to get a wheelchair first. Whatever you do, try not to die.
Skyscraper Month: van der Rohe! van der Rohe! I can't believe (actually, I can) that he changed his last name to "van der Rohe" in order to fake an aristocratic air. Jerkoff. If you want a fun, fast-paced, witty, kill-the-sacred-cow read, I STRONGLY recommend Tom Wolfe's From Bauhaus to Our House. He apparently detests modern architecture as much as I do, and this book gave me lots of thrilling ammunition.
National Unassisted Homebirth Week: 1-7 -- SO not a good idea! Yurgh.
Be Nice To New Jersey Week: 1-7 -- yeah!
Nude Recreation Weekend: 9-15 -- most people look terrible in the nude. Not a good idea.
Sports Cliché Week: 15-21 -- so I can't get to third base this week? Dang.
Single Working Woman's Week: 7/29-8/4 -- EVERY week is &c.
Canada Day: 1 -- O, Canada, we love your maple syrup so.
Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day: 6 -- yeah! And my dad will actually be in town to do this!
Cherry Pit Spitting Day: 7 -- sounds like a good idea to me. Spronging pits from my nostrils gave me a massive headache last time.
Chocolate Day: 7 -- EVERY day &c.
National Personal Chef's Day: 7 -- do we each get a personal chef on this day? Or do personal chefs get this day off? Huh.
International Town Criers Day: 9 -- because my local town crier could sure use a day off.
Clerihew Day: 10 -- Look it up. I took a stab:
Astrid Jessica Phillips
Is incapable of backflips.
She can't do anything athletic with ease,
So she's chosen instead to shoot movies.
AM I AWESOME OR WHAT.
Don't Step On A Bee Day: 10 -- good idea.
Bowdler's Day: 11 -- PIGF*CKER.
Embrace Your Geekness Day: 13 -- EVERY day &c.
Gruntled Workers Day: 13 -- okay.
Young Feminist Day: 13-15 -- EVERY &c.
Be A Dork Day: 15 -- EVERY &c.
Gummi Worm Day: 15 -- EVERY...jeez, this is getting repetitive.
National Ice Cream Day: 15 -- EDINICD (Every Day is National Ice Cream Day -- we'll do acronyms now.)
National Lollipop Day: 20 -- EDINLD.
Gorgeous Grandma Day: 23 -- ugly grandmas be darned.
Health, Happiness With Hypnosis Day: 24 -- because health and happiness WITHOUT hypnosis would be a massive waste of time.
National Drive-Thru Day: 24 -- Let's overwhelm In 'N' Out Burger!
Tell An Old Joke Day: 24 -- okey dokey pokey. "When is a door not a door?" "When it's a jar!" Whoo!
Garlic Day: 27 -- EDIGD.
Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day: 27 -- uh. Okay.
Walk on Stilts Day: 27 -- WHILE HOLDING THE HOUSEPLANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, BLOOD?
System Administrator Appreciation Day: 27 -- EDISAAD.
National Cowboy Day: 28 -- EDINCD.
National Milk Chocolate Day: 28 -- EDINMCD.
My work here is done. Go forth and July the hell out of yourself, which means: Don't die. This includes fireworks safety, tedious but true. I like my friends with as many fingers intact as possible.
So, it's July! Good gravy, I can't believe my life is passing me by this quickly; it's time I dust off the ol' existential machete and hack a new path or twenty through what's remaining of my future -- assuming I don't get hit by a bus this week, of course, which would suck. In a recent lighting class I conducted, I went over Lighting Safety and concluded with the phrase "Whatever you do, don't die." Ever since then, the students have repeatedly used the phrase "Don't die!" at amusingly inopportune moments, but I'd like to think they've taken the message to heart and have decided to Just Say No to Drugs and so forth. A teacher can hope, I suppose.
But! I really meant to discuss July. Here goes:
Air-Conditioning Appreciation Days (7/3 to 8/15): living in LA, I appreciate A/C most of the time already
Cell Phone Courtesy Month: but I LIKE discussing my gynecological issues over the phone while standing in crowded elevators! Gee whiz.
Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness Month: if you have a ton of iron in your diet, take this one seriously
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month: but EVERY month is Blondie/Deborah Harry Month! Anyone who says otherwise has a heart of glass.
Learn Arabic Month: your first vocab word is "wasta."
National Black Family Month: which black family is it this year?
National Home Inspector Appreciation Month: er, why?
National Horseradish Month: whoo!
National Purposeful Parenting Month: I'd prefer being a Purposeless Parent, personally.
National Wheelchair Beautification Month: but you'll have to get a wheelchair first. Whatever you do, try not to die.
Skyscraper Month: van der Rohe! van der Rohe! I can't believe (actually, I can) that he changed his last name to "van der Rohe" in order to fake an aristocratic air. Jerkoff. If you want a fun, fast-paced, witty, kill-the-sacred-cow read, I STRONGLY recommend Tom Wolfe's From Bauhaus to Our House. He apparently detests modern architecture as much as I do, and this book gave me lots of thrilling ammunition.
National Unassisted Homebirth Week: 1-7 -- SO not a good idea! Yurgh.
Be Nice To New Jersey Week: 1-7 -- yeah!
Nude Recreation Weekend: 9-15 -- most people look terrible in the nude. Not a good idea.
Sports Cliché Week: 15-21 -- so I can't get to third base this week? Dang.
Single Working Woman's Week: 7/29-8/4 -- EVERY week is &c.
Canada Day: 1 -- O, Canada, we love your maple syrup so.
Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day: 6 -- yeah! And my dad will actually be in town to do this!
Cherry Pit Spitting Day: 7 -- sounds like a good idea to me. Spronging pits from my nostrils gave me a massive headache last time.
Chocolate Day: 7 -- EVERY day &c.
National Personal Chef's Day: 7 -- do we each get a personal chef on this day? Or do personal chefs get this day off? Huh.
International Town Criers Day: 9 -- because my local town crier could sure use a day off.
Clerihew Day: 10 -- Look it up. I took a stab:
Astrid Jessica Phillips
Is incapable of backflips.
She can't do anything athletic with ease,
So she's chosen instead to shoot movies.
AM I AWESOME OR WHAT.
Don't Step On A Bee Day: 10 -- good idea.
Bowdler's Day: 11 -- PIGF*CKER.
Embrace Your Geekness Day: 13 -- EVERY day &c.
Gruntled Workers Day: 13 -- okay.
Young Feminist Day: 13-15 -- EVERY &c.
Be A Dork Day: 15 -- EVERY &c.
Gummi Worm Day: 15 -- EVERY...jeez, this is getting repetitive.
National Ice Cream Day: 15 -- EDINICD (Every Day is National Ice Cream Day -- we'll do acronyms now.)
National Lollipop Day: 20 -- EDINLD.
Gorgeous Grandma Day: 23 -- ugly grandmas be darned.
Health, Happiness With Hypnosis Day: 24 -- because health and happiness WITHOUT hypnosis would be a massive waste of time.
National Drive-Thru Day: 24 -- Let's overwhelm In 'N' Out Burger!
Tell An Old Joke Day: 24 -- okey dokey pokey. "When is a door not a door?" "When it's a jar!" Whoo!
Garlic Day: 27 -- EDIGD.
Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day: 27 -- uh. Okay.
Walk on Stilts Day: 27 -- WHILE HOLDING THE HOUSEPLANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, BLOOD?
System Administrator Appreciation Day: 27 -- EDISAAD.
National Cowboy Day: 28 -- EDINCD.
National Milk Chocolate Day: 28 -- EDINMCD.
My work here is done. Go forth and July the hell out of yourself, which means: Don't die. This includes fireworks safety, tedious but true. I like my friends with as many fingers intact as possible.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
as we draw to a close
Did you know that June is International Accordion Awareness Month, Turkey Lovers Month, Learn French Month, National Aphasia Awareness Month, National Candy Month, National Ice Tea Month, Pharmacists Declare War on Alcoholism Month, and Potty Training Awareness Month? Here's what throws me:
1. Everyone, everywhere, is aware of accordions. They might not be happy with this awareness, but it is the cross we all bear.
2. Loving turkeys is illegal in many states, so why should turkey lovers get their own month?
3. Isn't it insensitive to expect people to learn French AND be aware of aphasia? It's like, "Hey, aphasia sufferers! We can learn French and YOU CAN'T! Ha ha!" I think this is just terrible.
4. I thought every month is already National Candy Month.
5. Ditto for ice [sic] tea.
6. How do pharmacists declare war on alcoholism, exactly? Are swords involved?
7. I'm pretty sure that everyone, everywhere, is aware of potty training. Not everyone may have a potty, mind you, but I'm sure the awareness is still there.
June gets even weirder, though; we have National Headache Awareness Week (3-8), National Business Etiquette Week (4-10), Telemarketing Awareness Week (4-10), Superman Week (7-10), Youth Cowboy Poetry Week (8-11), Fiddlers Week (18-23), Appreciate Your Plumbing, Heating & Cooling Professionals Week (24-30), and Carpenter Ant Awareness Week (24-30). We're all definitely aware of headaches, telemarketing, and carpenter ants, and frankly I know we'd all be better off without this kind of awareness.
Also, isn't "business etiquette" an oxymoron? I thought good business involved taking you to a collection agency for non-payment on a product you never purchased in the first place.
And I don't understand why Superman, youth cowboy poetry, and fiddlers all need their own special week, when I'm sure we all love them EVERY week. I know I do. I especially appreciate my plumbing, heating, and cooling professionals every week, oftentimes with flowers and sexual favors, although not necessarily in that order.
The following days confuse the bejeezus out of me, either because I hate them and see no reason to observe them at all, or because I love them so much I already observe them every day:
Yell "Fudge" at the Cobras in North America Day (June 2): love
Doughnut Day (3): love
Apple Computer Day (4): love/hate
Banana Split Day (8-9): love
Croquet Day (9): love
Vinegar Day (16): love
Garfield the Cat Day (19): hate
World Sauntering Day (19): love
Vegan World Day (21): hate. haaaaaaaaaaaate. hatehatehate.
Stupid Guy Thing Day (22): love/hate
Chicken Wings Day (29): love, especially Buffalo wings with bleu cheese and sticks of carrots and celery
And these confuse me entirely:
Stewarts Root Beer Day (17) -- why?
Please Take My Children To Work Day (25) -- no thanks, take your own damn children to work.
Hand Shake Day (28) -- I'd rather have my hands STOP shaking. I may need medication.
That is all.
1. Everyone, everywhere, is aware of accordions. They might not be happy with this awareness, but it is the cross we all bear.
2. Loving turkeys is illegal in many states, so why should turkey lovers get their own month?
3. Isn't it insensitive to expect people to learn French AND be aware of aphasia? It's like, "Hey, aphasia sufferers! We can learn French and YOU CAN'T! Ha ha!" I think this is just terrible.
4. I thought every month is already National Candy Month.
5. Ditto for ice [sic] tea.
6. How do pharmacists declare war on alcoholism, exactly? Are swords involved?
7. I'm pretty sure that everyone, everywhere, is aware of potty training. Not everyone may have a potty, mind you, but I'm sure the awareness is still there.
June gets even weirder, though; we have National Headache Awareness Week (3-8), National Business Etiquette Week (4-10), Telemarketing Awareness Week (4-10), Superman Week (7-10), Youth Cowboy Poetry Week (8-11), Fiddlers Week (18-23), Appreciate Your Plumbing, Heating & Cooling Professionals Week (24-30), and Carpenter Ant Awareness Week (24-30). We're all definitely aware of headaches, telemarketing, and carpenter ants, and frankly I know we'd all be better off without this kind of awareness.
Also, isn't "business etiquette" an oxymoron? I thought good business involved taking you to a collection agency for non-payment on a product you never purchased in the first place.
And I don't understand why Superman, youth cowboy poetry, and fiddlers all need their own special week, when I'm sure we all love them EVERY week. I know I do. I especially appreciate my plumbing, heating, and cooling professionals every week, oftentimes with flowers and sexual favors, although not necessarily in that order.
The following days confuse the bejeezus out of me, either because I hate them and see no reason to observe them at all, or because I love them so much I already observe them every day:
Yell "Fudge" at the Cobras in North America Day (June 2): love
Doughnut Day (3): love
Apple Computer Day (4): love/hate
Banana Split Day (8-9): love
Croquet Day (9): love
Vinegar Day (16): love
Garfield the Cat Day (19): hate
World Sauntering Day (19): love
Vegan World Day (21): hate. haaaaaaaaaaaate. hatehatehate.
Stupid Guy Thing Day (22): love/hate
Chicken Wings Day (29): love, especially Buffalo wings with bleu cheese and sticks of carrots and celery
And these confuse me entirely:
Stewarts Root Beer Day (17) -- why?
Please Take My Children To Work Day (25) -- no thanks, take your own damn children to work.
Hand Shake Day (28) -- I'd rather have my hands STOP shaking. I may need medication.
That is all.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
we all can has cheezburger, rly!
So, I was talking to some folks recently about the goth aesthetic, and I mentioned that I'm Rainbow Gothic. "What," they inquired with great puzzlement, "is Rainbow Gothic?"
"Imagine," I said, gazing dreamily at the horizon as I gestured airily with both arms, "driving a hearse--"
"Ick!"
"Shush," I said mildly. "It would be very handy for lugging around film equipment--"
"And it would have a lower center of gravity than an SUV, which would also be practical." This was from the member of our group with an engineering degree.
"Yes," I agreed, whereupon I resumed gazing at the distant horizon. "And it would be shocking pink with airbrushed hearts and rainbows and unicorns all over the chassis, and rhinestones around the windows, and the upholstery would have zebra stripes, and there would be a disco-ball skull hanging from the rearview mirror."
"I could get into that," said the engineer.
"No WAY," another burst out. "Dude, there were DEAD PEOPLE in that thing. I mean, I could get used to it if I had to, but still, gross."
Anyway, there you are -- Rainbow Gothic. I'll try to think some more about what else would be Rainbow Gothic, but I'm also open to suggestions.
=
Moving right along, I need to air out my brain, and share the media wackiness I've seen lately on teh internets. (Yes, I can has cheezburger, thank you very much.) The bulk of the below is from warrenellis.com, but in case you already follow his site, you'll still see some surprises below. Or so I'd hope. Welcome to my brain...on DRUGS! (And by "drugs," I mean "too much Web surfing. And caffeine.")
Human All Too Human (49:30) -- a terrific film about the life of Friedrich Nietzche
A fascinating excuse for a shoe
"It comes down to this: I love money. I love success even more. But I worked very hard to get money so I can pay for things myself. That's what turns me on and makes me happpy. Having shit handed to me by surly hipsters, or people whose mouths smile but eyes don't, is bad for the soul." -- Patton Oswalt
The Original Seven -- NASA
I feel like this sometimes, pretty pink ribbon and all.
Internets Ouija Board T-Shirts!
Corey Lewis - "Kid Girl Khameleon"
Krasnikov Tube
Kefitzat Haderech -- man, we Jews think of everything.
Civil Disobedience at an Oil Conference -- hooray for the Yes Men!
Knitted Viking Hats for Babies -- why do babies get all the fun?
Greatest Survival Trick Ever, assuming you're hanging out in the wilderness with steel wool and a 9-volt battery
Double Your Gas Mileage!
How Make Glowing Printer Ink -- poor English, awesome technique
Human Tetris -- from Japan, of course.
I love lamp
Shampoo Ads -- but why?
fun retro media files, courtesy of Mr. Bali Hai
INCREDIBLE shadow art!
The most thorough description of the film biz ever -- by Oliver Stapleton BSC, a very amusing guy
If "Bonanza" Were Edited Like Friends -- brilliant!
"Problem" Light -- for fans of the Venture Bros.
Your own...personal...blimp.
Coolest-looking office ever
"Imagine," I said, gazing dreamily at the horizon as I gestured airily with both arms, "driving a hearse--"
"Ick!"
"Shush," I said mildly. "It would be very handy for lugging around film equipment--"
"And it would have a lower center of gravity than an SUV, which would also be practical." This was from the member of our group with an engineering degree.
"Yes," I agreed, whereupon I resumed gazing at the distant horizon. "And it would be shocking pink with airbrushed hearts and rainbows and unicorns all over the chassis, and rhinestones around the windows, and the upholstery would have zebra stripes, and there would be a disco-ball skull hanging from the rearview mirror."
"I could get into that," said the engineer.
"No WAY," another burst out. "Dude, there were DEAD PEOPLE in that thing. I mean, I could get used to it if I had to, but still, gross."
Anyway, there you are -- Rainbow Gothic. I'll try to think some more about what else would be Rainbow Gothic, but I'm also open to suggestions.
=
Moving right along, I need to air out my brain, and share the media wackiness I've seen lately on teh internets. (Yes, I can has cheezburger, thank you very much.) The bulk of the below is from warrenellis.com, but in case you already follow his site, you'll still see some surprises below. Or so I'd hope. Welcome to my brain...on DRUGS! (And by "drugs," I mean "too much Web surfing. And caffeine.")
Human All Too Human (49:30) -- a terrific film about the life of Friedrich Nietzche
A fascinating excuse for a shoe
"It comes down to this: I love money. I love success even more. But I worked very hard to get money so I can pay for things myself. That's what turns me on and makes me happpy. Having shit handed to me by surly hipsters, or people whose mouths smile but eyes don't, is bad for the soul." -- Patton Oswalt
The Original Seven -- NASA
I feel like this sometimes, pretty pink ribbon and all.
Internets Ouija Board T-Shirts!
Corey Lewis - "Kid Girl Khameleon"
Krasnikov Tube
Kefitzat Haderech -- man, we Jews think of everything.
Civil Disobedience at an Oil Conference -- hooray for the Yes Men!
Knitted Viking Hats for Babies -- why do babies get all the fun?
Greatest Survival Trick Ever, assuming you're hanging out in the wilderness with steel wool and a 9-volt battery
Double Your Gas Mileage!
How Make Glowing Printer Ink -- poor English, awesome technique
Human Tetris -- from Japan, of course.
I love lamp
Shampoo Ads -- but why?
fun retro media files, courtesy of Mr. Bali Hai
INCREDIBLE shadow art!
The most thorough description of the film biz ever -- by Oliver Stapleton BSC, a very amusing guy
If "Bonanza" Were Edited Like Friends -- brilliant!
"Problem" Light -- for fans of the Venture Bros.
Your own...personal...blimp.
Coolest-looking office ever
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