If you're dating someone with no singing talent, for goodness' sake don't encourage them.
Don't go for a massage when you know a Mafia don is mad at you.
Pianos are very handy for hiding legal documents.
THE WIZARD OF OZ
Sometimes you have to put up with a lot of crap for a decent pair of shoes.
There aren't very many women in space, dammit.
Never trust a taxidermist.
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
Cover your mouth when you speak in front of a computer.
If you're an aging Hollywood star, don't wear a turban. It doesn't do you any favors.
Don't waste your time trying out SCUBA gear in a swimming pool -- it'll be really, really boring.
Jack Nicholson was hot.
SOME LIKE IT HOT
Guys go for ukulele players.
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
If you need to forge positive diplomatic relations with aliens, try candy.
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD
Never walk through a dark forest dressed as a ham.
MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON
If you have to filibuster, bring sandwiches.
If your significant other ever orders their deli sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise, you might as well break up with them immediately.
You have to maintain peace in the Pentagon's War Room.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC
Never trust your boyfriend's nanny, even if she was studying to be a nun.
THE PHILADELPHIA STORY
New boots are never classy.
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT
Be careful how you dunk your doughnuts. There's an art to this, apparently.
Mohawk + mirrored glasses = awesome.
NORTH BY NORTHWEST
Mount Rushmore offers a slightly better foothold than you might otherwise imagine.
Don't swim in the ocean at night. Also, small-town mayors are twerps.
American teenagers are twerps. Also, boring.
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
Men are not allowed to be furniture, only women are. Dammit.
THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
Don't let prisoners have posters.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
You don't need to moisturize cows to get supple leather from their hides, but human skin needs a lot more TLC before harvesting.
In a pinch, a tennis racket may be used as a spaghetti strainer.
Black face is socially acceptable if you're Fred Astaire.
Any time of day is a good time for pie.
In 2019, tortoises and turtles will be considered the same thing.
Rich people are boring, until they decide to hang out with poor people. Poor people are always interesting, resourceful, and good dancers, much like elves.