Thursday, December 23, 2010

aar, here be treasure!

Sorry, but this post is not about pirates. Instead, it's about the Etsy Treasury, where you can browse people's 'collections' of Etsy stuff they love. It's pretty inspiring, especially if you're female, 30-something, and can't fall asleep. Here's how my favorites among others' favorites ended up clustering....

Category I: Art-Deco Something Or Other


This dress makes my jaw drop. Into the apartment below mine. My floor now has a gaping hole in it, but I still love this dress. It is a love that hurts, and not just my jawline.


Could go with the dress, I suppose. Not that anyone would notice. But hey, it's admittedly pretty nifty.


This gorgeous lantern makes me think of Casablanca, hence the 1930s tie-in. I adore any light fixture which turns your walls into art.


Category II: Postmodern Woodlands Girl


Yes, it's a dirndl. Shut up.


And I'd wear the aforementioned dirndl with a crisp white shirt and this visually delicious scarf. I would totally order this scarf for dessert, if only as a dessert for my eyeballs.


Is this locket darkly romantic or what? Love it.


And it would nicely complement the rustic charm of this ring.


Category III: Whimsically Geometric


These pants might try to go off to Beginning Ninja classes without me, but I'd be willing to take that risk.


This shirt is pure Astridness, distilled into textile and witty silkscreens. I'm actually ordering this one.

And finally, for the sheer category-defying fun of it:


Soap! Lends whole new meaning to the phrase 'cute as a button'. I'd be terrified to actually use it for anything as stupid as washing my hands, though.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

shopping list

My boyfriend left me alone with his shopping list. It said:

- Trader Joes
- poptarts
- cereal
- AA batteries
- sponges


I added

- elephant
- sassafras
- Herbert Hoover
- ferns


Perhaps I've been reading too much MAD lately; lucky for me, my boyfriend thought my additions fabulous. Mainly, I'm just impressed that I remembered how to spell 'sassafras.'


Friday, December 3, 2010

sweet dreams are not made of this

Watch this if you want nightmares about monstrous mushrooms out to devour you (and worse!):




But if you'd prefer nightmares about wacky driving, try this instead:

Beyonce as performed by Pomplamoose

I can't stop listening to these people! They are too hep for words.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

art lesson for today

Examine the work of Shigeo Fukuda. The man was quietly amazing.


fun with GIFs!

Check out Nico Nico Douga. These are some of my faves:






































Wednesday, November 24, 2010

why am I so obsessed with earlobe adornment?

I may have gone mad. I really can't explain this sudden fixation on earrings.









Enough is enough. I only have two ears, how many earrings do I really need?


Aisle v. Window

This is intriguing:

Hunch Blog: Aisle vs. Window, the Great Debate

What does it say about me that I don't care where I sit on an airplane, as long as it's near the wings for greater stability? I do seem to be a blend of both types mentioned in the article, with a slight preponderance of Window Sitter traits. Hm.


dream outfit for the day





or







Done!


when fashion and comedy collide

I've been getting interesting fashion-promotion emails lately, hence my fashion kick. Apparently, Juicy Couture (very low on my personal list of Good Fashion) is now selling very charming charms. Trouble is, I don't do charm bracelets (hello eighth grade!), but these would make terrific earrings.

Darn Juicy Couture, creating neat things for the wrong parts of my body.

Anyway, there's this:



Which reminds me of this fabulous Kids in the Hall sketch (see 2:29):



And in case you give a crap about charms which also ought to be earrings, here are several more for your edification:









O, the cuteness!


Monday, November 15, 2010

Kick kick hooray

LOVE THESE:



And to wear with them:



And over that, this:



And in my hair:



And that, folks, is how you dress like a deranged lady with an MFA.

Friday, November 5, 2010

video games for health

I'm so sad that little media + tech + health (outside of Bayer's Didget) seems to be moving out of research and into the market. But hey! Since we're here, let's watch a kid review the Didget games:



I don't know about you, but I find this pretty dang inspiring. Is there any reason we're not doing more of this for adults, in addition to exergaming (exercise gaming)? Sure, there's the Wii Fit array of games, but most folks I know are letting their Wii Fit games/devices collect dust, mainly because the workouts just don't seem worth it:



It's really in the best interest of insurance companies to unite healthcare with entertainment providers, because the more fun people are having with maintaining their health, the less sick they get, and the more money the insurance companies make. Perhaps, as an example, you could tie games to pedometers, and even get discounts on your insurance rates the more you walk.

Or am I a crazy person?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Astridian Rules for Excellent Music

    1. Strong beat, ideally syncopated; and/or epic-sounding (e.g. film soundtracks, madrigals).

2. Relatively melodic singing.

3. Unique chords, and/or unique chord progression, and/or amusing lyrics, and/or unique instrumentation.

4. Minimal noise (cymbals, guitar wash), should have a clean sound.

5. No falsetto, unless you're black or Beck. Deeper = better, regardless of gender.

6. No yelling/screaming.

7. Not repetitive.

8. Bonus: slide guitar.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

cleansing my text msg inbox

    My text-messaging inbox on my phone is nearly full, so it's high time I clear it out (except for the texts with important addresses in them, of course). Since I can't bear to part permanently with these amusing, charming, poetic, or simply bizarre messages, I'm committing them to the Web for posterity.

11/22/07, 1:27pm
Happy Thanksgiving. Celebrate American tradition and give the gift of smallpox-infected blankets to your friends and family. Only 9.99 at Ralph's. - JP

1/24/08, 1:34pm
Gotcha. Any desire to join me ¿ the cafe instead on this pleasantly rainy day? - CF

1/25/08, 8:43pm
I came down to San Diego and sitting at the bar in old town San Diego (old town Mexican cafe). I just finished eatting my dinner and now drinking a cold beer. Two Mexican dinners in a roll. Just to night by myself. I love the food here! - MA

5/25/08, 11:28am
[Enclosed image of a yellow birthday card featuring President Obama in a birthday hat, with the word "OBAMA" as an acronym for "Obviously, Birthdays Are My Area of expertise!"] This shit has to stop. - JP

6/30/08, 7:14pm
I'm off work, would love to chat if you're not occupé - JH

8/30/08, 8:49am
Sending you the luck of the irish on your important gmat day! Not that you need it but any advantage is good to have. - HM

3/17/09, 6:37pm
Hey! Thanks for hangin' with us for a bit! I'm glad you were here! - JH

3/18/09, 6:09pm
The Marines were all "no. body' here" on leave. Any interesting phone calls lately?!?? - AV

6/4/09, 5:23pm
[Enclosed photo from car window of Goodyear blimp silhouetted against the sky] - AV

10/28/09, 8:01am
thank you.good luck to you to. Tell czar alex you'll hang out in his treehouse for an A! - JM

11/17/09, 9:17pm
What I need right now is a tincture of laudanum in my thin gruel. - JM

12/16/09, 4:08pm
Ps: I like your pic on younoodle. It looks sexy as always (I'm serious) - JM

1/19/10, 4:27pm
Whoops. Ignore that text. Anyway prof [redacted] almost called me astrid when i met him today. Lets start playing jokes on people. - GH

1/20/10, 1:05pm
[I was wearing a flower in my hair on this particular day] Ps: I like your flower:) - JM

2/5/10, 1:19pm
kegs will be tapped. Men will be used... - JM

3/8/10, 10:17am
I feel barnaly - JM

3/23/10, 9:52pm
[After I had mentioned seeing a film crew across the street from my hotel] Cool. See if they need any help from a cinematography and economics master! Sweet dreams. - JM

3/28/10, 9:07pm
Just thinking of you and wanted to say hi. I hope school is going great! - BH

8/2/10, 12:37pm
Uuu, sorry, no lunch for me today on this marvellous awful Monday. Have fun, let's catch up tomorrow. - OZ


Friday, July 9, 2010

My Christopher Walken Short Film

    I wrote this 6-page script a few years ago, inspired by an idea I discussed with the fabulous Kimberely Simonetti. I've finally decided to post it here, since I don't know Christopher Walken, I don't have an agent, I have no track record as a director, and I figure someone here on Teh Intertubes might find this amusing.

    Enjoy! Or not.



Walkens Welcome
by
Astrid Phillips

Story by
Astrid Phillips & Kimberely Simonetti


FADE IN:

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - AFTERNOON

We see a fingerpaint project on the wall next to a doorway. Booming down past the picture we land on a handwritten sign stating “SAT. 2:30 PM/Compulsive Christopher Walken Quoters Group Session”. We boom down further to see “Walk Ins Welcome”.

INT. KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM - AFTERNOON

ELEGANT BLACK LADY - MYRA
(à la Christopher Walken)
Fast - ship? You've never heard
- of the - Millenium Falcon? It's the
ship - that made the Kessel run -
in less than - twelve parsecs.
She's - fast enough - for you - old
man.

HIPPIE GIRL
(also like Walken)
No no - that’s a Kevin Spacey -
impression - of Christopher Walken -
as Han Solo. That - shouldn’t
count.

GOTH BOY
(very Walkenly indeed)
Hey - it’s postmodern. Chris - is
the GOD - of postmodern. I say -
it counts!

Hippie Girl and others protest, which THERAPIST BOB tries to quiet down, waving a clipboard.

THERAPIST BOB
Folks! Folks! This is
counterproductive! Did we not
agree to support each other, no
matter the issue? I’m sensing a
lot of judgement here. Can we
please try to come together?

The group, including an ASIAN HIPSTER and a HELL’S ANGEL, is quiet, then mumbles agreement. They are all uncomfortably hunched on tiny kindergartner chairs, surrounded by toys.

THERAPIST BOB
Okay, then. Myra, that was very
brave of you, thank you so much.
Now, tell us, how does your
constant need to mimic Mr. Walken
affect your ability to function
constructively in society--

The door CREAKS open, so Therapist Bob turns -- to see CHRISTOPHER WALKEN poke his head in.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(ultra Walkenly)
Hi - the sign out here - says '
‘Walk Ins Welcome’?

Everybody stares in total shock.

THERAPIST BOB
(quickly recovers)
Yes, please, come in! We just got
started, so you’re not interrupting
at all.

Walken nods and comes in to find a seat. People WHISPER, saucer-eyed, as he takes a chair next to Goth Boy. Goth Boy stares open-mouthed in adoration.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(to Goth Boy)
Hiya.

Goth Boy SIGHS and faints onto the floor. Walken notes this calmly before turning to Therapist Bob.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Please - continue.

Therapist Bob is enthralled.

THERAPIST BOB
I’m Bob, the facilitator for this
group, and you are, uh, uh--

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Chris.

THERAPIST BOB
Yes, the resemblance is uncanny.
If you don’t mind my saying so, you
seem rather advanced in your
imitative condition--

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(still ultra-Walkenly)
Well - it’s hard for me - to not -
be Christopher Walken - seeing as
how I am - in fact - Christopher
Walken.

ASIAN HIPSTER
Prove it. Show us - your driver’s
license.

THERAPIST BOB
Okay, let’s settle down, folks--

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(to Asian Guy)
My real first name - is Ronald - I
was born March - thirty-first -
nineteen-forty-three - My parents
- are Paul and Rosalie--

ASIAN HIPSTER
Anyone - could find that - online.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(getting annoyed)
Hey - you want - my fingerprints?
Dental records? I could give you -
a helluva - DNA sample--
(moves to unzip pants)

THERAPIST BOB
Whoa, whoa, I am sensing some
hostility here! Please, let’s all
create a safe environment for each
other to share. Chris, do you feel
that your identity is affecting
your ability to function
constructively in society?

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Yes - I didn’t understand - why
people kept copying me - all the
time - and why - everyone else -
thought it was all - so damn funny.

Walken darts accusatory glances at people. Everyone shifts uncomfortably.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Then I thought - hey - if you can’t
beat ‘em - join ‘em. I became - a
Walken impersonator - purposely
exaggerating myself - and I found
my life - became easier - for a
while. People found me - wittier -
and I felt - embraced - on a whole
new level. Like I was finally in -
on the joke.

People nod with recognition.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Until my wife - left me.

The group GASPS, then AWs.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
She said - I was no longer true -
to myself - and also - that in the
process - of aping myself - I had
become - a monkey. Apparently -
not everyone likes - being married -
to a monkey - even though I - find
most monkeys - quite personable.

The Hell’s Angel nods encouragingly.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
Now - I’m trapped - in this
persona. The people - I care about
most - can’t stand - the caricature
- I have become. I need help - and
I was hoping - I could find it
here.

Hands reach out to pat Walken reassuringly. Therapist Bob looks empathetic.

THERAPIST BOB
Chris, you have come to the right
place. Is everyone with me?

Everyone APPLAUDS. Walken smiles sadly, half-heartedly acknowledging everyone’s encouragement.

THERAPIST BOB
The first thing we have everyone do
is perform a sample of their
Christopher Walken repertoire, and
then we talk about how to break out
of that mind script to find our own
identity. Are there a few special
lines you’d like to share with us?

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
I think - a little Wordsworth -
would be appropriate.

Walken suddenly stands, striking a pose.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(as himself)
I wandered lonely as a cloud, that
floats on high o’er vales and
hills, when all at once I saw a
crowd, a host, of golden daffodils--

MYRA
You - have got - to be kidding.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
(ultra-Walken again)
What’s wrong - with daffodils?

MYRA
You - do the worst - Christopher
Walken - ever--

THERAPIST BOB
Now, that wasn’t necessary--

HELL’S ANGEL
As a Christopher - Walken
impersonator - you - are a total
failure.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN           THERAPIST BOB
WHAT?                                              HEY!

HIPPIE GIRL
Do not - waste my time. That is
not - the real deal.

THERAPIST BOB
Some of us have very different ways
of expressing our inner Walken!

ASIAN HIPSTER
(to Walken)
And yours - is the pits.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
You people - are fucking psycho! I
KNEW - this was a bad - idea!

Walken storms to the door, with PEOPLE YELLING “Amateur!” and “Go home!” at his retreating back. Therapist Bob catches up with him just as Walken is about to exit, and slips him a business card.

THERAPIST BOB
Here’s my info. If it helps,
Pacino and De Niro called me about
celebrity group counseling for New
Yorkers Who Are Pathologically
Quoted. Would you be interested?

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
As long as no one - mentions
cowbells - or keeping watches up -
their asses - I’ll think about it.
And bigger chairs - would be nice.

Walken walks away, leaving Therapist Bob looking hopeful.

THERAPIST BOB
Call me!

Behind him, Goth Boy groggily sits up.

GOTH BOY
(Walkenly as ever)
Hey - what did I - miss?

CUT TO BLACK.



Saturday, May 29, 2010

Stop - It's Hammertime! (only with bindis and dupattas)

    When I'm not doing micromarketing or calculating inventory, I prance about like a Bollywood star in MBA talent shows. This seems to astound and impress the Indian students, who think that no American would ever be caught dead shaking her groove thing in front of 110 people to "Desi Girl" or "Mauja Hi Mauja". In your face, dubious Indian students! You're not the only cool, dancing-type people to hang out in business schools! So there.



P.S. The Rockettes we ain't, but we still brought the house down. This was quite possibly one of the most awesome experiences I've ever had, at least since that one time I was duct-taped to a wall.


Monday, February 1, 2010

"Sneakers" and Astrid-kicking, not necessarily in that order

    Despite my original plan, I never did devote this blog to the ups, downs, and sideways (sidewayses?) of business school. This is because it took me only 24 hours of orientation in September to realize that I could never, ever write anything about the UC Irvine faculty, administration, or my peers without everyone immediately finding it and hating me for my lack of discretion.

    And so I channeled my energies into kooky things, like studying. And wearing blazers with pearl earrings. And discussing things like "incentivizing". Amazingly enough, I've learned a lot and met lots of great folks and have generally been having a fab time, sometimes even with nachos and beer -- which is why it IRKS ME TO NO END that I can't write about it! Well, I could, but then people would kick me.

    So, with all the potential Astrid-kicking floating around, I kept my mouth shut for several months, but TODAY IS THE DAY I BREAK DOWN AND START BLOGGING AGAIN. This probably won't last long, since I'm still swamped with work and trying to balance that with a social life, but you know what? I really miss writing.

    And here's how I'm kicking off my return to blogging: Artists of the Film "Sneakers".

    For those of you who've seen the film "Sneakers" and love it as much as I do, you'll understand completely why I'm writing about this ever-important topic. It's a very stylish film, and it features some rather bizarre art. Even more interesting, I hadn't realized until last night (after re-watching for the tenth time or so) that all the artists in the movie are listed in the credits! Holy cow! So, here they are:

    Jonathan Borofsky


    This sculpture is in Venice, California, and it always creeped me out, and I had had no idea that its creator had his work featured in "Sneakers". I have no idea what work of his was in the film (maybe this?); so if you DO know, then please let me know. You know?

    Robbie Conal


    I'm just as clueless about Conal in "Sneakers". Again, post any leads if you've got 'em.

    Sonia Delaunay


    Clueless.

    Helen Frankenthaler


    Really clueless.

    Robert Mapplethorpe and an Artsy page about Mapplethorpe


    LOVE his work -- but still don't recall any of it in "Sneakers". Huh.

    Dan McCleary


    Judging by what I can find online, I think he did the prints of flower vases in Liz's loft.

    Tatsuo Miyajima


    I think he did the LED wall art in Cosmo's PlayTronics office.

    Mark Stock


    No clue about his "Sneakers" connection.

    Donald Sultan


    Still clueless.

    And here's the ultimate question: who did those awesome zeppelin prints in Cosmo's office?